The Negative Truth About Keeping Friends In Nigeria

We all have friends right? Some we love and take as brothers and some we really aren’t proud to call friends due to their rigid nature. If you are human then I am sure you can identify with what I am saying here.

Just like our actions, friends are one of the most crucial things in our lives that either break us or makes us. But what I find really sad is the fact that people do not see things that way, here i am talking more about the young ones. The youth in particular.

To them having a friend is fun, nice, it builds your social circle and even helps in terms of distress. This sort of thought creates acceptance to anyone who seeks friendship and companion, and honestly, not everyone fits well in this category.

Even those that seem like the best of friends might actually be the one stopping you from becoming the person you wish to become. You might know it, the person might not know it either, but that thought of getting a wide social circle really blocks out that bitter truth.

And here’s what I mean..

Back in 2013, I was opportune to visit a rehabilitation center, something like an hospital but for the mentally sick and unstable. Rehabs aren’t psychiatric hospitals either. People, there are very much sain and healthy. You could just see it as a hospital that helps people who have gone through various issues like addiction abuse or affliction.

I was there with a few friends of mine and the whole event was planned by some elders from my place of fellowship and the whole goal was to hear the stories of these patients and learn from all they had to say.

One after the other they poured out their hearts, some with tears and most of them with regrets. It was a very eye-opening event that led to some of the most drastic actions and changes in my life. After the whole thing was over I sat and wondered, digested and played back everything I heard a few hours past.

And I could point out what they all had in common, no one had the intention of doing drugs, no one wanted to smoke, no one wanted to make a living off people’s pain and most importantly, none of those patients ever wanted to end up in a rehab center.

But hey, it happened and there isn’t any machine designed to fix mistakes from the past so all that was left was to learn. Moving on I am sure you can guess what led them to the actions above… you guessed it, Friends, friends did. It all starts with a feeling to belong, to be part of the cool kids. To rub shoulders with the big guns. You get me right?

But then deep down you know what you are getting into, you understand the type of people you are close to. You understand that they don’t think about tomorrow,  you understand that they love to leave at the moment, you understand that they lack ambition and the thirst to leave a life that isn’t mediocre.

But hey you are cool with it, why? because they’ll give you money when you need some, they’ll let you know when a rave is happening and some will even stick by you when you have trouble. That is the real definition of friendship right?

I walk the streets today and all see just makes me bleed from within. Wait can I ask a question? How exactly can you achieve things that are amazing and good when you align yourself with people who aren’t seeking what you do. You want to progress right? You want to become a somebody, you don’t want to live a mediocre life.

But you hang with people who don’t care about those things. The simple truth is that you will never be able to attract anything positive if the people around you are emitting negative charges.

Keeping some types of friends is simply like having a dark cloud over around you, it could also be imagined as having a very thick shade which blocks your view of reality. All the fun and gist might make ti seem like they are awesome but there are better things you could be doing. Now don’t get me wrong.

The most successful men in this world had friends, but not the type which led them away from their goals and more into living in the moment. We will talk about the topic of keeping positive friends but in the next article. Now back to where I was.

These kinds of friends don’t let you see the sun not just because of the dark clouds they are but also because of the fact that they show you a shining light in replacement for that greater light. A bulb or a lantern one could say. A little bit of something that serves as light.

But the only difference is that this light is very limited compared to the one you are being held from seeing. They light they show you will one day run out and when it does you’ll eventually snap back to your senses. You might even rid of them in anger and regret. But here’s the sad truth…

By the time you look back at that bright light you once desired, it’ll still be there, but I’ll look too bright, you won’t be able to look anymore because you have been exposed to a little lamp for too long.

All that distraction is what led those guys into a rehab. fake promises and big lies all tangled up in a silver platter.

Now I look at my life and I think to myself, how much the wrong set of friends has played a role in my life. And to be honest I can count a number of negative attributes I had, life didn’t have much of a meaning. I just went all day doing my thing hanging out and flexing, you know what I mean?

Thought of what the future held for me never occurred in my head, And that was because I never surrounded myself with the types of friends that would remind of the dreams I had. And is simply what is going on all day every day all around you. Sometimes I wonder what the next generation would look like because everyone just seemed messed up.

Now take a look at your life, do you have friends that care more about the present than the future. I know of some guys who scream YOLO YOLO when every they do something stupid. They feel like just because life is short, you have to leave at the moment, enjoy yourself while you still can because you only live once.

Well, I don’t’ mean to burst your bubble but that isn’t what that saying means, what it’s saying is that you should live your life to the fullest, accomplish your goals, dreams, hopes and check off every item off your to-do list. Not to do stupid crazy things that could end up in your death or failure.

Do your friends make you do things you won’t do if you were on your own? Do they make it hard for you to study or do they try to keep you away from studying? These are the types of questions you need to answer when picking out the right and wrong friends.

If might actually be hard for a lot of people because these negative friends are the ones that can really help you financially but remember that those things they offer are just distractions.

Moving with a set of negative friends might not really rub off on you but only you will think that way. This is because everyone will label you as one of them. People say birds of the same feather flock together. And they are right. You might not know it but their attributes will slowly become yours.

It might not be at that exact time, it might not even be the exact attribute those friends exhibit but it’ll come around like a boomerang.  I once heard of a guy who was killed after being mistaken as a member of a squad. I have also seen innocent people being taken away in police vehicles after being found in the midst of robbers.

You don’t have to risk all these all for a bit of temporary fun that would end up leaving you in a mess.

So here’s a summary of what we just went through on negative friends:

Friends can serve as distractions, they can make you lose your focus without even realizing it. Friends can be very influential with all the good stuff they throw in our face you just can’t help but want to become like one. And lastly, they can lead you to your very end.

You won’t know how it’ll happen. It could already be happening to you without you noticing. And that is because you see no side effect. But with negative friends, there will always be side effects.

So just keep your head straight, do what is right and surround yourself with the right set of people.



About the author

    Demilade Adebayo

    Demilade is a young entrepreneur who just can't help but empower the public with information that makes everyday life better and easier for the average person. He is a lover of Music, sports, science, and people... In a Nutshell, he is an awesome lad with a passion for Writing and zeal for success.